Donald Hall: The Fresh Air Interview and “Affrimation”

              Poet laureate, Donald Hall, discussed his experience of aging in an interview with Terry Gross on her radio program, Fresh Air.  Much of what he observed about his experience mirrors the social critique of Erik Erikson in laying out his ninth stage of psychosocial development.  Erikson notes, amongst other things, that our society lacks a place and function for the elderly.  This narrow view of potential and social role that Erikson refers to also impacts how we, as individuals and as a society, perceive our entire lifespan.  “Lacking a culturally viable ideal of old age, our civilization does not really harbor a concept of the whole of life” (Erikson, 1997).  Similarly, Donald Hall observed that, “old people are a separate form of life. ... They can be pleasant, they can be annoying… but most important they are permanently other. When we turn eighty, we understand that we are extraterrestrial. ... People's response to our separateness can be callous, can be good-hearted, and is always condescending."   As Erik and Joan Erikson put it, “aged individuals are often ostracized, neglected, and overlooked; elders are seen no longer as bearers of wisdom but as embodiments of shame” (Erikson, 1997).  Here is the interview with Terry Gross:

 The challenges of aging were nothing new to Hall.  He had lost his wife some years earlier and experienced the role of caregiver, experienced vicariously the difficulties of frailty, and experienced the loss of loved ones just as most older adults have.  In tribute to his wife, in mourning, and in contemplation of aging and dying, Hall wrote a poem entitled, “affirmation”.  The poem begins with the mournful line, “To grow old is to lose everything”.  The poem goes on to describe the crisis old age often entails: “The pretty lover who announces that she is temporary is temporary. The bold woman, middle-aged against our old age, sinks under an anxiety she cannot withstand.  Another friend of decades estranges himself in words that pollute thirty years.”  These lines allude to the dystonic elements of the ninth stage crisis; conflict, regret, tension, and frustration, to name a few.  The syntonic elements and virtues accessible through resolution of the stage’s crisis include; wisdom, “grand generativity”, and a connection to the past.  Here, Joan and Erik Erikson accept and promote Lars Tornstam’s theory of Gerotranscendence. 

               According to Tornstam, “Gerotranscendence is a shift in metaperspective, from a materialistic and rational view of the world to a more cosmic and transcendental one, normally accompanied by an increase in life satisfaction” (Wadenston, 2005).  Through “cosmic communion” with the universe, the circumscription of time, reduced mobility, the sense of self expands to include “a wider range of interrelated others” and death is viewed philosophically as “the way of all living things”. (Erikson, 1997)  The lines that follow the crisis experience in Hall’s "Affirmation" are not only emotive and profound; they reflect the common experience of Gerotranscendence.  “Let us stifle under mud at the pond's edge and affirm that it is fitting and delicious to lose everything”. Such confirmation of the theory expressed outside of a theoretical or research framework is of fundamental value to Tornstam.  “When learning about the theory, individuals frequently claim that they recognize aspects of themselves in it. This represents a bottom-up relationship between reality and theory, where the validity of a theory is spontaneously confirmed by individuals of flesh and blood – not by any formal theory testing procedure (Tornstam, 2009).”

"AFFIRMATION"

To grow old is to lose everything.

Aging, everybody knows it.

Even when we are young,

we glimpse it sometimes, and nod our heads

when a grandfather dies.

Then we row for years on the midsummer

pond, ignorant and content. But a marriage,

that began without harm, scatters

into debris on the shore,

and a friend from school drops

cold on a rocky strand.

If a new love carries us

past middle age, our wife will die

at her strongest and most beautiful.

New women come and go. All go.

The pretty lover who announces

that she is temporary

is temporary. The bold woman,

middle-aged against our old age,

sinks under an anxiety she cannot withstand.

Another friend of decades estranges himself

in words that pollute thirty years.

Let us stifle under mud at the pond's edge

and affirm that it is fitting

and delicious to lose everything.

Hall, Donald, Affirmation, 2002, Houghton Mifflin Company.

Walk-in Bath TV Commercial

            This commercial captures one of the greatest anxieties regarding aging; dignity and independence.  The aging man, Jim, has restricted mobility.  His wife tells the camera that she could help him with a lot of things and the commercial cuts to a shot of her helping Jim out of a car and up the stairs.  “What I could not help him regain”, says Jim’s wife, “was his dignity.”  In this commercial, Jim’s was being deprived of his dignity because his immobility made him less independent.  “He wanted to be able to do everything himself”, his wife tells us.  Getting in and out of the bathtub is one of those things.  Here is the TV commercial:

              This product certainly fills a need.  Any activity that someone who’s mobility and independence has diminished with age would appreciate having one less thing to rely on others for; especially something as intimate as getting in the bath.  The commercial also plays on the caregiver’s desire for their loved one to have that dignity as well as having one less daily responsibility.  There is nothing wrong with this or with the idea if the product.  Still, a far more constructive message would have been that there is nothing shameful about needing assistance in old age.  Jim may be able to get into the shower alone with this new bathtub but he still needs help up the stairs.  Since he is still not doing “everything himself”, is his dignity still out of reach or only partially restored?  Do special furnishings have the potential of restoring that dignity?  A chair lift up the stairs would prevent the need for his wife to brace him as he climbs and a van with a specially fitted ramp and door and a wheel chair would prevent the need for Jim to be lifted to his feet.  Is that really more dignified than being assisted by those that the elderly man had assisted and provided for his whole life?  The issue is not whether or not some aids for independent functioning should be used.  The issue is the degree to which they should be used and the feeling that mechanical solutions to immobility are more dignified than relying on loved ones as caregivers.

George Carlin (1:27 – 3:01):

On his 70^th birthday, George Carlin reflected on his experience of growing old.  Rather than speaking about experiences of primary aging such as slower reflexes, reduced memory recall, diminished eyesight, and slower cognitive processing speed, Carlin explores the perceptions of old age in those around him.  There are three main theories of aging; disengagement, activity, and continuity.  Carlin, at least for comic effect and in making a larger point, views aging through none of these three perspectives.  Instead, he muses about how common perceptions of aging may be used to his advantage and comic delight. Here is an excerpt of Carlin's performance (1:27 – 3:01):

Erik Erikson spoke of a ninth stage in the developmental process and lamented that there is no space in our society for the elderly.  There are no longer elders, just old people.  Instead of trying to combat ageism, Carlin promotes turning it against the people who harbor such views for personal gain.  In all likelihood Carling would actually engage in such behavior.  Still, his larger point is clear.  The absurdity of ageist prejudice is clear when describing a strategy that has an aging person who is not coping with the assumed and extreme stereotypical ailments be perfectly lucid enough to manipulate the ignorant ageists in his midst.

Reagan-Mondale Debate

          During the presidential elections of 1984, Walter Mondale and some of his supporters made issue of Ronald Reagan’s age.  What was suggested was that he may not have the stamina to successfully carry out the rigorous duties of the office.  Picking up this topic, the moderator of one debate explained that, during the Cuban Missile Crisis, President Kennedy had to stay up for days.  Here is the exchange:

          One of the primary lenses through which Baltes discussed aging was that of “gains and losses”.  The moderator’s question as to whether Reagan could “function” is an obvious acknowledgement of certain losses.  What is suggested is that Reagan would not have adequate stamina.  The “function” in question, however, was left open to interpretation and, so, open to including in the minds of viewers and voters, a plethora of popular ageist assumptions.  One of the “gains” in old age that Baltes and others speak of is experience and wisdom.  Reagan succinctly makes the case for his advantage in his response.  What he also does is call out his opponent and the media for exploiting age for political purposes.